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So, You Wanna Be A Rapper…

There’s only two days left in 2009. Is there even any need for me to attempt putting the ridiculousness of that statement into words? I suppose I could trump it by saying not only are there two days left in ‘09, but two days left in the first decade of the 21st century. If I were the type to get all emo, I’d point out that this is also probably the last couple days of the first decade of the last century any of us will ever see. Wow, I just depressed myself a little bit there. The first draft of this post had the previous sentence followed with a bit more of me whining about time passing too fast and feeling a bit too old, but who wants to read that? I know I don’t, so I’m not going to make you…

I know there is an exorbitant amount of people out there who think that 2012 will see the end of days. You are all wrong. It seems that the end will come sometime in 2010 and that two of the horsemen of the apocalypse will be 4mm Games and my beloved Def Jam Records. (Side note: Way to play into the fear factor and stereotypical association between a genre of music and gun violence 4mm Games. You may as well be called “Pop-A-Cap Games” or “Murderin’ Suckas Games”. And just because a 4mm gun doesn’t really exist (I think…) doesn’t mean that it’s not slightly irresponsible to use that name to publish a rap game that is probably going to be marketed to the masses.) For those that don’t know, I am a beast of a hip-hop fanatic and, like all true heads, I hold a place near my heart for all that Def Jam stood for. The record label started in a dorm room in New York gave the world more than any other record label could have. With Run-DMC, The Beastie Boys, LL Cool J & Public Enemy by their side Rick Rubin and Russell Simmons gave birth to not only a genre of music, but a lifestyle for a whole generation to embrace. I don’t want to harp on about the social impact that hip-hop has had on the world, just turn on your TV and within 5 minutes you will find something South Bronx bred. Unfortunately, things have taken a turn for the worse. I’m not talking about Wheelchair Jimmy, I’m talking about the newly announced “Def Jam Rapstar”. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that the purpose of this atrocity is to make everyone a rapper, because apparently “Guitar Hero” made everyone a guitar player. I’m not even sure I can voice the disgust I have for this idea without heading into the R-rated light The Spin has avoided this past year. This is going to be ugly, and it’s an early favorite for worse game of the year. Yes, it’s fun to get drunk and rap along to Fresh Prince of Bel-Air or The Humpty Dance. What’s not fun is when people take it seriously and think they are real rappers even though they are going to be playing with a toy. It’s going to be embarassing, kind of like when Nelly was famous. Damn, I hate this game already…Ugh. Anyway, if you feel the necessity to watch the trailer it’ll be below, and below that I’m going to post the rap song that started it all. Enjoy, and stay thirsty my friends.


4 Responses to “So, You Wanna Be A Rapper…”  

  1. 1 spektadat

    It will be a pleasure to watch you eat every word in your rambling paragraph. 300 tracks spanning 30 years of hip hop (not just Def Jam Artists), 20 original new beat tracks by famous industry producers, the ability to upload your video to YouTube and the DefJamRapstar web site immediately, scheduled battles around the globe from top scorers, crews, community, recording contracts given by Def Jam to top scorers! how could you be so hateful of something that will foster Hip Hop Culture, and yet say you are a fan of hip hop in the same breath? this will become a whole new industry tool… you’re so wrong with this, hope they let you write reviews after this mistake for your sake..

  2. 2 Mike W

    Not my point at all. I’m ridiculously happy that hip-hop is getting more of a spotlight in the mainstream. I just don’t agree with this game, mainly because there’s already a stupid amount of horrible rappers flooding the airwaves daily, I don’t want to hear even worse rappers doing their songs. It’d be like hearing Helen Keller doing a cover of a Kelly Clarkson song. Do.Not.Want.

  3. 3 Inkjet Printer

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