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You Got Your Nerf In My Game…

You guys want to know how my trip to EA started? It’s really a funny story. Well, not really funny so much as it is typical. It started with me running late to the airport. I got on MARTA (Atlanta’s Transit) good and that, it just got mixed up at the airport. Once you get to the airport you have to take another train like thing to your terminal. I was heading to terminal D, only I got off at C. Not only did I get off on the wrong terminal I actually rushed up the escalator (running past people) into the terminal before I realized it was wrong and I was dumb. So, I get back on the train heading to D, then onto my gate D26. Only when I get to gate D26 it wasn’t a flight to San Francisco at all. Proceed to the ticket counter and ask what happened to my flight, she explains that there must be some mistake and nothing has changed I begin to argue (you know that “Great, I’m about to have to argue with this person and it’s not going to be pretty” feeling right before you’re in full argue mode) before I look at my ticket and realize it’s gate D6. If you’re keeping score that’s two strikes. Get to D6 see they’ve not started boarding and head to grab some energy and call Mrs. Mike one last time. Then I hear “We will stop boarding in 7 minutes.” WTF?!?! Get to the boarding station (what the hell are those called anyway??) where I get a nasty look from the flight attendant for being the last person to board and then I’m on my way onto the plane. (Side note: I’m convinced that only someone of amazing skill like myself could be the last to board the plane. I mean, have you ever been the last and actually made it with like 6 minutes left?? Didn’t think so…) As soon as I get on the plane I’m told that I have to keep my carry on at the front so that I don’t inconvenience the good passengers who actually showed up on time. Then, and this is where it gets interesting, when I find my seat the overweight, middle-aged mom and her friend look at me annoyed and say, “We’re glad you made it but we hoped you wouldn’t.” Seriously. They basically said, “I guess we’re glad you’re not dead but we wish you had like broke your leg or something and missed your flight.” Who the eff says that to a stranger?? The whole flight I had to deal with annoyed sighs as I negotiated my laptop that hates me, I only got one armrest the entire time, and I knew that if I had to get up to use the restroom it’d make me the most hated person these two ladies had ever met. Oh, and then they told me that I was probably going to get kidney stones because I drank Red Bull. Yeah, they basically cursed me. I’m pretty sure that’s just like 5 or 6 strikes on the flight there. If I was a negative person I’d look at it as some sort of omen. But, I’m not negative, not me… I will say that if you, Ms. Rudy McRudenstein, happen to read my blog you shouldn’t read books titled “Lose Weight By The Power of Thought”. It obviously isn’t working.

So, there’s the beginning of my trip, now let me give you the beginning of the previews. The first game my group got to see was, Nerf 2: N-Strike Elite. I’ve written about the game here before, and was actually very excited to see it. To get straight to it, this game is fun. While talking to one of the other bloggers about what we thought about it, that was it. It was fun…but nothing special. You wouldn’t be pissed off if someone gave you this game, but I don’t know if I want to drop $50 (maybe more since it comes with a blaster) on it. The basic premise of the game is that you are playing one of 4 tweens who have to save the world from someone who has endless amounts of robots at his disposal. Apparently it’s the same villain from the first Nerf game, but I never played that one. N2 is an on-rails game, and for the most part it’s done well. You have all the elements there: shooting incoming missiles, hoards of bots on screen, secret passages, shooting from moving aircraft…basically everything you’d expect. And it’s all done through the power of Nerf. It’s kind of silly, unfortunately I don’t think it’s silly in a “we were going for that type of way”. It’s also unfortunate that none of the games producers were there to talk to us about the title. It’s not surprising though. I mean, what could they have said about the game? That it’s good….and then? The person giving the demo kept saying let’s look at another level, but it looked exactly the same as the previous one. Let me set it up for you….you come out of a bunker type room into a desert canyon type of area, and then the robots show up and start launching foam missiles at your face. Rinse and repeat.

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The coolest part about the game was the blaster that ships with the title. Like I mentioned yesterday, it didn’t feel like some piece of junk add-on. The fact that you could swap the Wiimote out and make this an actual functioning blaster is too cool. Don’t sleep either, it shoots with some velocity. I shot myself in the leg and it didn’t feel good. It didn’t hurt either, but you could definitely put an eye out with a well aimed shot. (Disclaimer: I am not responsible for anyone who puts an eye out with the Nerf Blaster.) The gun also comes with Red Reveal, which is also very cool. Mainly because it works. It’s sort of like ASE from The Conduit, except you actually get to hold it and use it. The drawback is you look silly holding it up as you scan every inch of wall space looking for secrets. (Side note: I vote that devs who use this sort of thing mark walls/rooms that don’t have secrets with that. I can’t tell you how much time I’ve wasted going back through rooms in The Conduit looking for a hidden message. It’s pathetic…) Nerf 2 is not a game that’s for everyone, and I don’t think it cares. The Nerf brand is huge, and putting out a decent game with a fairly good blaster is genius. Add to that the fact that the blasters you can own in real life are in the game and you’ll have kids salivating for more. I could tell you about how the controls were way off in this early build, or how it didn’t look visually stunning, or how it makes absolutely zero sense as to why the robot apocalypse is fought with Nerf guns. But, for a game like this I don’t think it matters. This game is for parents who don’t want to buy their kids Dead Space or Resident Evil. It’s also for kids who have to have another plastic gun to shoot their little brothers eyes out with. (Disclaimer: I’m not trying to give anyone ideas as to who’s eyes they can shoot out and will not be held responsible if you do shoot out little Jimmy’s eye.)

All in all, the development team has put together a solid package that would make a decent play through on a day when you have nothing else to do. I’m sure that’s enough for lots of people. As for me, I’ll just hold out for Dead Space:Extraction. Nerf 2: N-Strike Elite doesn’t have a firm release date yet, but we were told one would be announced soon. It won’t be long until blasters are in hand and little brothers all over the world are fearing for their eyes. (Disclaimer: Seriously, just because your brother has two eyes and he annoys you almost all of the time is no reason to shoot it out with the Nerf blaster and I refuse to be held responsible if you shoot his, or anyone else you know, eye out.) So, there’s no trailer for the game out yet and I gave you the only two pictures I have that don’t look like I was the guy who shot all the fuzzy pics of Bigfoot, instead I’ll leave you with a video of Patrick Swayze being the most BA he’s ever been. RIP WOLVERINES!!!!